And Now Ladies & Gentlemen, Presenting MoFo The Albino Monkey

The Old Man has always been blessed with a somewhat wicked sense of humor. On some occasions, the perfect foil comes into my life and a high degree of comedic foolishness seems to take on a life of its own. You know how it is.......there just seems to be a compatibility that when mined, takes any pursuit to a higher level. Whether in business, marriage, or any other enterprise, the output is multiplied exponentially. The same natural law applies even in foolishness. Such was the case with Larry and me.

Now this account has nothing to do with my childhood or with Bedford. Larry entered my life as a full blown adult. (At least in years) Larry and his family moved into a house a couple of doors down from us. Over the months we got to know each other and discovered we shared an almost identical sense of humor. We were comedically joined at the hip. He seemed to know where my lunacy was heading and fed off of it, and fed into it instinctively. My golf buddy, Jay, and I have that now. Let off the leash, we can travel some funny roads.

As time developed, Larry and I would begin around July laying plans for our Halloween Hijinks.

One year I was a werewolf and Larry The Sheriff had captured me. We'd go from door to door and Larry would say he was "out catching weirdos and is this one yours?" Another year, we smeared ourselves with glow-in-the-dark paint and attempted to collect money for those who had lost their jobs as a result of nuclear reactor accidents. Our makeup was extensive....both of us had extra eyes, etc. Our line was "We've been working around this stuff for years and it hasn't affected us at all."

But far and away, our goofy apex was the year we took our act on the road as Guiseppe Lopez (me) and MoFo The Albino Monkey (Larry). I would go to the door and say in an overdone, fake Italian accent, "Hello..My namea isa Guiseppe Lopez-a and for-a a small-a donation-a, I will have MoFo the Albino Monkey perform-a for-a you-a." All the while, MoFo was in the back of my van banging around on the sides and shaking the van. I'd go and let him out, tied to the end of a huge rope and he would come haltingly up the sidewalk. Carrying a beverage and holding a teddy bear he would have me light his cigar and then he would do a couple of Elvis moves.

I would then tip my hat and thank the people and lead MoFo back to the van and off we'd go. Now the really funny part of this our adoring public did not see. Larry stuttered, but like Country Star Mel Tillis, he celebrated and used that to endear himself to all. In transit between performances, we had a conversation like this. "JJJJJJack." "Yeah Larry." "IIIIIIf wwwe hhhave a wwwwreck, dddddon't llllet ttthem cccall a vvvvet to wwwwork on me."

So there you have it. The saga of MoFo the Albino Monkey. Larry is fine; I saw him during the holiday season last year. We hadn't seen each other for over 15 years, but it was if no time had passed. The only thing missing was Halloween.