Jeffrey of "I Ain't Goin" Fame

The Old Man mentioned a while back that the Battalion always knew that when we heard the mantra, "Vacation Bible School starts next week", that our halcyon days were in a state of interruption. Just when we were getting grooved in to summer vacation we had to get back into a harness of sorts. Now, don't misunderstand me, here. As a parent, I firmly believe in getting children off to a proper start on the development of their spiritual progress. And to this end, VBS is a valuable tool for teaching values that help create lifelong integrity. But to a kid, these concepts were beyond our cognizant level. All we knew was that sleeping in, pick-up baseball games, riding bikes, and all the other "kid-things" were about to be interrupted for a week.


Another "semi-cruelty" was that the old Bedford Baptist Church had no air conditioning. Matter of fact, neither did most other buildings. Let a few weeks after school was out go by, and we were well into summer. Pack 150-200 kids with their already-broken-in U.S. Keds and the whole place began to take on the odor of old combat boots and rancid butter.


Opening day.......lined up out on the sidewalk in two directions....flag bearers at the front of each column....thundering through the front doors and tromping down the aisle we marched....singing a reasonable rendition of "Onward Christian Soldiers" and taking our positions to be seated and "indoctrinated" by the Reverend A. G. This was heady stuff.........on the first two days. After that, we didn't thunder, the singing became mostly mumbles, and as to tromping.....more of a shuffle.


Highlights were always 'snack time' and 'craft time.' Lemonade and chips usually made up the gourmet delight with maybe some cookies the good ladies of the church had provided. Crafts were another matter. We built (all within the span of a week) bird houses, leather braids, lanyards, or my personal favorite, a little dog tie rack. This was a beauty. The outline of a little puppy looking over his shoulder at his tail, which stuck out like a banana glued to a flat surface. Ingenious really, as you were to hang your ties on the tail. Ingenious but in retrospect, really kinky looking.

At the time, I owned 2 ties, so the tie rack was overkill.


Enter Jeffrey. Jeffrey lived almost across the street from the church. What you would call today a "high visibility" location. Jeffrey hated Bible School. But every year, he dutifully showed up, like all the rest of us, at the prodding of his mother. He would spend all week trying to think up creative ways to get thrown out, but nothing seemed to work. Finally, one year Jeffery simply said to his mother, "I ain't going". No amount of threatening, cajoling, begging, or pleading could change his mind. "I ain't going" became the rallying cry of the Battalion. None of us had guts enough to use it ourselves, but we all looked up to Jeffrey.


We'd line up to march in and there would be Jeffrey in his front yard....waving. We could have gleefully killed him, but secretly inside we wanted to name him king of the world.


Jeffrey suffered no ill effects from his stand and went on to a successful life. The last time I saw him, we shared a memory and a laugh about the whole experience. No harm, no foul.

I came across this picture the other day. I've indicated Jeffrey as he tried, yet again, one of his attempts to escape. The Old Man is standing beside him on his left. And by the way, that's Miss Alma on the right end of the second row behind the lady in the checked dress.




I hope to see Jeffrey in a few weeks, and I think I'll get him to say, "I ain't goin" just for old times sake.