The Handy-Dandy Reunion Survival Kit

The Old Man recently attended his 50th High School Reunion. Most of the Battalion was there, and in fine fettle. It was fantastic to see them. So many stories! I don't know if you've ever been to a high school reunion, but in the event one may be in your immediate future, some tips on what to expect might be helpful.

First of all, you will be lied to. Oh, most will be harmless little lies, but lies just the same. I'll list a few here:

"You haven't changed a bit". Bull pucky.....this is the most common and frequently used lie in the game. I'm 50 years older, you idiot; of course I've changed. I have no hair, I'm 70 pounds heavier, and I've got so many wrinkles that I look like a Tarpon Springs sponge.

"Do you remember the night we (fill in the blank)?" Hell no I don't remember. I can't remember why I came in the kitchen.

"You were always one of my favorite people." Really? How come you never chose me to be on your team until you had exhausted all other possibilities?

Second, you will lie to others.

"How have you kept in such good shape?" (Must have been lifting all those 12 oz. dumbbells labeled Budweiser.)

"You haven't changed a bit". (See, it's contagious)

Third, you will discover that some things, like leopard spots, truly haven't "changed a bit"....both for the better and for the worse. You will be able to rapidly decide.

Fourth and most importantly, you'll realize that even though you may have spent a small part of your life in these people's company, they played a critical role in who you are. From each other you learned most of your social structure; how to deal with hurt feelings, petty jealousies, and other ills. Even more, you learned how to treat others with respect, how to negotiate, and how to confront wrong. You realize that those early years are worthy of revisiting....they were basically carefree and fun. We didn't realize it at the time, but the traumas we faced were pretty tame in comparison to those the world has thrown at us since. At some point in the evening, you'll note as you look around the room, that the 'class of '60' is just that......"Class" with a capital C. We've played the hand that life dealt us and have exhibited a level of grace and strength unfathomable to us "back in the day".

Much of the crowd was there. I saw "Jeffrey of I Ain't Going Fame", "Roscoe the Booger Eater", "Freddie the Fainter" and a host of others. Kenny was gone and that sucked. We had lots of laughs, posed for a group picture, promised to "keep in touch", and melted away back into the present.

I think I've figured it out. The past is a marvelous place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.