Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving Thought

The Old Man is in Thanksgiving mode today.  Like most, I look forward to the day of reflection on life's blessings, and to be sure, food will play heavily into the day's observance.  So, to all, I say:
 Stay focused on the positive things in your life, and don't forget to express your thanks....to God and to all those who contribute beauty to your existence.  And put the ability to laugh high on your list.

Here is my secret recipe for the Thanksgiving feasting.


    Roast Turkey
1 - 15 lb. Turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good)
1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER’S LOW FAT IS BEST) Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt and pepper. 

Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back. 

After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds. 

When the turkey’s rear blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room,.... it’s done.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Gimme a Popsicle Stick and I'll Make You a Record

The Old Man turns his thoughts to high school around this time of year.  I suppose it's the football-falling leaves-early darkness syndrome that tends to move me full-bore into nostalgia mode despite my best resistance.  It seems that some of my most enjoyable times occurred during the period from September through Christmas. That concept may be rationalization, but "that's my story and I'm sticking with it".

 One of the memories that sustain my reverie is that of the band.  We were called The Sportsters. Arthur, Johnny, David, Ralph and I banged our way around Bedford and surrounding towns from 1958 through 1961, or thereabouts,  playing at several "joints", some college fraternity parties, and on a couple of American Bandstand-style dance shows on local television.  Heady stuff when you're 18.

A recent exchange about that day and time opened one of my mental safe-deposit boxes, and the memories played leap-frog to the front burner.  Like puppies fighting for attention, they came at me.

Considering the cost of concerts these days, we were cavemen.  There was one road house just outside of town called the B & H Drive-in.  We had a regular booking there each Saturday night for a while.  As I recall,  with our percentage of the gate, we would each normally earn about $10.00 for a 4-hour "gig".  We'd "whomp & bomp" and "shoo-bop" our hearts out, and feel like we were rich when counting-up time came at the end of the evening.  Once in a while, things would get lively with a knifing or a simple fist-fight, but as the saying goes, "the band played on".

We played some frat parties at the University of Virginia.  They generally ended with us playing to just a few people while the majority of the crowd seemed to have been stricken with some sort of sleeping sickness, usually preceded by a bout with nausea.  The money was good, though.  Paid up-front and netting us around $30.00 each, we were in tall cotton.

We had one "roadie".  His name was Tucker and he just loved to go around with us for the fun of it.  He would help us set up our one amplifier, my meager set of drums, and the two microphones.  I look at equipment in today's entertainment world in total wonderment.  A DJ at a wedding in Slugo, Va. has 3 times the equipment that we had.

As in any enterprise, the character mix was eclectic.  Arthur was a good Elvis-style singer, Johnny was a gifted and creative guitarist, our saxophonist, David, was the most musically talented one, I managed to stay on the beat most of the time, and then there was Ralph.  Ralph is the guy playing the stand-up bass in the photo.  Ralph had a bit more electronic knowledge than musical ability, but he managed to bang that old bass with abandon.  Sometimes he was actually on key.  On occasion, our one amp would develop a problem.  Ralph would tear into it, and amid a shower of sparks and much popping and cracking, manage to solder (he carried a soldering iron, "just in case") some connection somewhere in the innards and the show would go on.  Ever the handyman, once when the neck of his base was broken in a minor car accident on the way to an out-of-town engagement, Ralph rounded up a few popsicle sticks and some scotch tape and made the repair.  He slapped that bass until closing time.

Johnny is gone now, David has made a professional career in the music business, Arthur and I made our career in other areas, and Ralph disappeared into the mists of history.  But sometimes, late at night, I can still hear a few "whomp-de-bomps", the magic of autumn paves over the rough spots in life, and the old drum riffs with their heavy back-beat carry me away.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Yeee Haaaaa!

The Old Man is pretty much "Southern" to the core.  Regular readers may note that my musings often speak of things indigenous to the region of my heritage.  In keeping with that line of thought, I pass along something that a friend of mine sent me.  If you are truly Southern, you'll find a chuckle, I hope.  If you are not, laugh anyway....it's good for you.

THE TOP 31 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.!

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

3. You Guys.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm heading up the campaign to re-elect OBAMA!