Monday, March 18, 2013

Heading For The Ozone

The Old Man is heading out for a trip in unknown waters.  My grumpy, fussy, back has finally quit being grumpy and moved up to full-bore bitching and snarling.  It's gone from being a household pet to Cujo. I've had a three year battle with multiple (21) injections, weeks of physical therapy, and a 6 week round of acupuncture; all to no avail.  So now it's time to go off the high-dive and have surgery.

"Spinal fusion with instrumentation"......sounds like a rock band, but really means they are going to slice into my back, remove a disk, roto-root out some stenosis that is paying unwanted attention to a couple of nerves, insert a metal cage filled with some dead guy's bone matter and then staple me back together.  All this while I visit other planets in my mind, propelled there by medical miracle juice.

They say I'll have one of those pain-pump things.  Just tap and sunshine and rainbows will cross your field of vision.  I'm practicing Morse code so I can tapity-tap-tap the message to the pump, "Get your ass in here, buddy".

Hopefully, out of all this, I'll be better for the experience and maybe have a blog or two to amuse.  I'm shooting for the goal of leaping at least short buildings in a single bound, but will accept getting from the den to the kitchen without wanting to cry.  Wish me luck.

See you later, folks.



3 comments:

Lauri said...

Love you, Daddy.....thinking of you constantly and can't wait to see you "back" out on the golf course!! Enjoy the ride on the pump....know Momma will take extraordinary care of you! Hang in there and we will see you soon!!!!

Sherri said...

Sounds like there is a good plan in place to fix you right up. Hang in there, Jack. All will be good.

Jules said...

It really doesn't surprise me that you are tackling this with your awesome sense of humor. I love you and know this will take care of your pain! I am with Lauri - can't wait to see you back with the clubs, moving around, and maybe even dancing to some Proud Mary. You are in my prayers constantly through this process. As is mom. You took incredible care of her after her surgery - now let her be your nurse. I LOVE YOU BOTH!