Big Bad Biker Boys

The Old Man was quite a biker in his day. Oh no.....not the Marlon Brando "Wild One" kind, but the Park Street Battalion gang kind. We wouldn't have known 'Brando' from 'Bondo', but we roamed far and wide on our Schwinns and J. C Higgins machines.
We were light years ahead of the American Chopper crowd. A new bike wasn't considered "street worthy" until there were some additions. A headlight was a must. Never mind that it had about one millionth of one candlepower and ate size D batteries faster than a Nancy Pelosi sidestep. At least one of us absolutely had to have a speedometer. After all, it's important to know exactly how fast you were going when you hit that pothole you didn't see because you were looking down at your speedometer. The pothole always won.

One of the coolest accessories was a built-in horn. It was located in the over sized bar just in front of the seat. When you pushed the little button, the mighty horn cleared the way ahead. Forget that it sounded like a chipmunk fart. But the absolute, be-all-end-all bolt-on was the siren. It clamped onto the front wheel frame and had a cable that ran up to the handlebars. When you pulled the string, the siren moved into position against the side of the front tire and it could wail like Jimi Hendrick's guitar on steroids. At night,we liked to lay in wait and fall in behind a car just to watch for the brake lights come on.....followed in many cases by administration of the Hawaiian Good Luck Sign.

There were a number of mishap possibilities. Most of the summer, we wore no shoes or shirts. A spill meant Mercurochrome or that evil potion, Iodine. Gravel became our arch enemy. The ultimate catastrophe for us was to break a chain while pumping up a hill. Two things were assured: Your bare toes would spin downward so quickly that they would turn partially under and the tops would scrape the asphalt. Crap....more Mercurochrome. But of even more ominous note, since the "cup" had not yet been invented, certain anatomical parts were relocated to an area located approximately between your eyes.

Years later, I saw Marlon Brando in The Wild One. He and his gang were a pretty tough bunch. But I submit that even Marlon wasn't so tough if his chain broke.

Join me tomorrow for a special Fathers' Day post.